Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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