I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
