Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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