I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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