Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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