What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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