Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
