woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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