your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Enjoy the penises
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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