Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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