Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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