Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
