I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
