P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
