my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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