I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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