Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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