great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
