I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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