She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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