Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
