Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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