we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
