Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
