Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
