yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
