Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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