On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
