I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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