why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
