oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
