Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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