I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
