You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
