I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
birth control should be required to get into college
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
