There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
