he wants to bone in the snuggie
i may or may not be watching the land before time
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
