Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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