this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
