I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Panties = found
Randomize
