She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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