My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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