so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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