Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
