It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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