My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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