she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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