it wasn't lemon gatorade
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
