looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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