Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
