I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
