Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
